I know, it's been a while since my last post. 2014 was not a good year for me. Last year around this time my mom broke her hip and was also diagnosed with Lung Cancer on Christmas Eve.
Mom was lucky and got to try a new drug called Tarceva, which seemed like a miracle. She started to get better and got to go home about a month later. Everyday, we spent with mom. Savoring our time together and hoping all would continue to go well. Those were some wonderful times. It is a real awakening when you realize someone you love is trying hard to stay alive for you.
Unfortunately, Tarceva comes with some nasty side effects. Mom handled them well, but soon it was apparent that all was not good. Mom's cancer was traveling. There was nothing more to do except pray.
I have never admired someone as much as I do my mom. Her strength, her love for her family, the many friends of hers who hurt right along with us. Her faith, and her never give up attitude. How could she be so strong? Just thinking of this makes me feel so vulnerable, scared and proud.
Mom went to heaven on September 11th, 2014. A special day of remembrance for many all around the world. I miss her every single day. I talk to her like she can hear me still. I feel her sometimes cheering me on, and sometimes crying with me.
Writing for the blog, sharing my art all took a back seat. Mom was my most precious focus.
Today, I struggle to step back into this writing sharing mode again. It feels good and hard at the same time. Please understand if I enter it gently, I am changed, different now. But, I also know that this is what our lost loved ones want from us. They want us to embrace life and to seek out the beauty and joy of all things that stir us to feel.
I love you forever Mom,
If you would like to see the tribute video that was put together by
my son, Stone Bailey, my daughter Jade Bailey, and
niece Peach Schmidtlien.
Here is the link
"There is nothing better than a life well lived, so live it well."
P.S. I'll see you again in the New Year.